why I can't get to church today

This is a story that happened about a year and a half ago. I shared it with a few people then. I just thought about it and I realized that I have a sworn duty here to torture you with it . . .

Kaitlyn decided that she wanted a yogurt from the refrigerator. After getting and eating a spoon full of it she decided she didn't like it. The baby found it where she left it and decided that as well as making a fine hair gel, it also had potential as a wall finish. She then "painted" everything in a six foot radius. I'm cleaning up after the paint crew and I hear David in the next room. As a home study paleontologist, David has a thesis about the sounds of various dinosaurs. He is demonstrating his body of work at an alarming volume. This is causing the girls to scream at a pitch so high that dogs are barking all over town and dairy cows in the next county have gone "dry". As I run to rinse the sponge from the "vat-o-paint" clean-up, I step on a toy that is so blunt it should just be called a ball, but still managed to puncture my foot right near my big toe. So I am running with a yogurt soaked sponge to tell David to "shut up" while walking on one heel. It is then that I see that Kaitlyn left the refrigerator door open. It's only 8:30. am. On a Sunday morning.

For now . . .