legacy

"I'll never be like them". Ever say that about your parents? I'll never spank, I'll never make them eat such and such, I'll never. . . Something amazing happens when we "arrive" at parenthood. We see ourselves in our kids. We hear echos of our parents in ourselves. Oh, don't get me wrong. I don't do some things my parents did. But there is "them" in me.

When my two sisters and I were younger, we would all sleep on the floor in my one sisters room because she had an air-conditioner. Of course my other sister and I would cause trouble. My mother would come to the bottom of the stairs and yell up "are you being hav?" (instead of behaving) Now this would make us laugh and carry on even more. "I know for sure that I am being very hav; but I can't speak to the havness of the girls" I would yell back. Then we would lay there and snicker and laugh into our pillows. I often joke about it now.

Last night it came out of me for real. Like a ventriloquist dummy sitting on my mothers lap! I caught myself just as the labiodental fricative "V" crossed my..... labio. It's our families equivalent to the "don't make me come back there!" the "I'll turn this thing around and we'll go home".

Mom passed away a few years ago. But man, is she here with us. I hear her when I speak to my kids. I think back to all the problems I presented her. I know she saw me face some of those same things as I became a father. She was kind though. The "I told you so's" were few. I can't help but think she got some real satisfaction hearing me echo these stories.

I'm thinking about you, mom. Laugh or cry. . . it's good to have you here.

Timm

For now. . .